


Apt. 107-602

by apprivoise



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Angst, Break Up, Home, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-08-27 05:03:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8388253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apprivoise/pseuds/apprivoise
Summary: Soonyoung had a knack of being late, and he was always not around. Jihoon wasn't sure if he could take anymore of it.





	1. Chapter 1

The tents weren’t flapping, the trashes on the ground weren’t rolling. There was no wind that night. Everything was distant and muted. Lee Jihoon stood by the light post, hands tucked into his jeans pocket. A few children tirelessly ran down the now deserted lane, face flushed in jubilee and satisfaction, all very reluctant to head home. The young boy couldn’t comprehend the children’s thoughts, the aftermath of a carnival was nothing but saddening to him.

Nevertheless he stayed, patient and still. He stayed despite his aching back and tired eyes from cooping up all day in the studio. He stayed despite all he wanted to do was head home and collapse onto his bed and doze like a dead log. He stayed despite everything. Because he knew he would come.

_How soon?_ He didn’t know, but he would. He always would.

Standing under the broken streetlight, Jihoon’s vision focused on the splatter of dried dark drown liquid possibly from a spilled drink bought at the carnival. He noticed there were other littered polystyrene boxes and paper cups strewn all over the cemented lane, some on the grass. The filthy side irked the young boy. He isn’t a neat freak, but hygiene is still important to him. He looked for a cleaner spot to stand, away from the messiness of the aftermath of a carnival.

He felt pathetic. Standing alone in the coldness of the night, waiting for someone. He felt lonely, if he was being honest to himself. He always did the waiting and the simple act of waiting felt lonely. He shouldn’t be feeling like this, because waiting for someone meant expecting a companion and the loneliness would soon go away. Isn’t waiting for someone better than having no one to wait at all?

Ironically, Jihoon felt the loneliest when he was waiting for his lover. He suddenly felt the oddly familiar chill emanating throughout his body: the kind of chill you get when you’re aware of just how lonely you are. Just as he was wallowing in self-pity, a shadow loomed over him and an oddly cheerful voice rang out in the soundless night.

“Jihoonie! You’re here!”

The sight of Kwon Soonyoung relieved him of all his solitude. Albeit everything that he felt before his arrival, Jihoon’s lips curled up when he saw his lover waving enthusiastically at him and merrily jogged down the lane. He was amazed at how bright someone could be an hour before the end of a day at a desolate place like this. Jihoon greeted him the usual way, “Yes, I am here,” before he proceeded to walk down the grass slope towards the riverbank. Soonyoung jogged up beside him and ambled in a light, frisky manner. They settled down at the base of the grass slope over the Han river: Jihoon drew his knees close to his chest whereas Soonyoung stretched his legs out.

“I bought some beer when I passed by the convenience store just now,” Soonyoung started and once again Jihoon wasn’t surprised at how his lover never mentioned anything about being late. In fact, Soonyoung never once brought up this issue. And Jihoon never really questioned him either. Initially the younger one had thought it was a one-time thing, so he never prod the older one about it. Outspoken Soonyoung never attemptes to take roundabouts when he speaks, from when he openly wooed Jihoon during their sophomore year until all the ‘I love you’s he whispered every night before they fell asleep.

But when he realised that it was no longer a one-time thing, he found it too late to ask. It had became some sort of a silent agreement between them to not mention about Soonyoung’s lateness. He merely took the two beer bottles from the plastic bag and uncapped them with his utility knife, handing one of them to Soonyoung before opening another. Together they gulped down the cheap alcohol, the bitter liquid sloshed into their throat, leaving a trail of mild heat behind.

They did this sometimes, drinking outdoors at different secluded but safe locations because their apartment seemed too small for them. Somehow being enclosed by four walls narrowed their minds, and fights often broke out when they were in there. So the both of them agreed on spending some nights outside, the alcohol being there to kill time. Of course, at times it served another purpose.

Chugging down one bottle of beer in one go is no joke, and the two lovers were already drunk by the time they reached the bottom of their bottles. The heat from the alcohol coupled with the absence of the cooling night wind made Jihoon’s head spin. He slammed his back onto the grass, his neat dirty blonde hair spread messily. Just then, he heard a thud and all of a sudden Soonyoung was on top of him, face flushed like the children he saw just now, hands pinning down on both sides of him.

Jihoon was too intoxicated to provide any response, but Soonyoung squinted his eyes at him. After a few seconds of intense staring, he slurred a few words with his mouth reek of cheap beer.

“Jihoonie-ah, you look so beautiful tonight.”

Drunk Jihoon grinned widely at him. “Says the beautiful one.”

Soonyoung giggled at the compliment. His eyes crinkled into slits and Jihoon thought he looked absolutely lovable. It was one of his thoughts that he didn’t say out loud. Except when he was drunk.

“The way your eyes crinkle when you laugh is very lovely, Soonyoung.”

The elder one stopped giggling abruptly and the younger one thought he might have suddenly became sober. But then Soonyoung dropped his head onto Jihoon’s shoulder, sneakily planting kisses on his lover’s neck. Now it was Jihoon’s turn to start giggling. He squirmed underneath Soonyoung but he was of course no match for the fit dancer’s frim grip of his arms. The music composer thought he would never like getting teased, but he accepted everything from Soonyoung, always ready to crush any stereotypes along the way.

The two lovers continued passing sloppy but gentle kisses to each other, careful not to get too riled up in public. The cold grass were stroking Jihoon’s bare ears, and the lights from opposite the Han river illuminated Soonyoung, casting a soft golden glow around the frame of the elder boy. The younger one wouldn’t have envision anything more beautiful than this. In the midst of this humble elation from alcohol and arousal, he forgot about the elder’s lateness.

 

After passing a few more kisses and a lot more giggling (somehow both of them giggles a lot when drunk), they decided it was time to head home. Nothing beats the comforts of the their home, and sleeping outside in an autumn night is borderline crazy. Also making out in the public is a crime. Both boys swung their arms around each other’s shoulders, trying to support each other as they trudged down the filthy lane.

As Jihoon took in the warmth of his lover slumped heavily beside him, he felt as though he wasn’t heading home. He was already at home. Kwon Soonyoung is home. As he gathered his thoughts laced by the slight alcohol, Jihoon thought he could take everything, all the good and bad if it was from Soonyoung.

 

\---

 

“I can’t take it anymore,” Jihoon muttered under his breath.

“What is it, Jihoonie? I can’t hear you.” Soonyoung stood rigidly in front of the younger boy, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He could tell Jihoon was shivering a little, and he wanted to hold him, to stop his trembling. But he was also well-aware of the monstrosity of their distance. That any step nearer or further would ruin everything. So he stared down onto the floorboard, noting that they were three wooden panels away from one another.

The music producer sucked in a sharp breath, gritting his teeth as he did so. Jihoon’s shoulders tensed, his shivers more prominent as he held in his breath. He felt himself slowly losing control of his own body. When he finally released his breath, it was as though a dam had broken under overwhelming pressure.

Screams started getting tossed at Soonyoung.

 

_“Why are you leaving again!?"_

 

Jihoon hauled himself at his lover.

 

_“Do you really have to go work on a Sunday night!?”_

 

Hands balled themselves into fists on Soonyoung’s dress shirt.

 

_“Why do you have to always go away!?”_

 

Tears streamed down his cheeks unknowingly.

 

_“Why can’t you just stay a little longer!?”_

 

Soon enough, dark round spots blossomed across the wooden floorboards. It reminded Jihoon of the spilled drink on the filthy lane he saw yesterday and somehow that memory ticked him off even more.

 

_“I am so sick of doing all the waiting!”_

 

Yesterday felt like long time ago as Jihoon heard himself yelling strings of accusations at Soonyoung, mostly about him being late and not around when he needed him most. Before he could stop himself, he started going further and further back into the past, enumerating all of his lover’s fault as though he kept a mental list of it all this time. More and more sad memories floated into his head, but all the while the sight of that spilled drink on the filthy cement floor never went away.

Jihoon’s voice cracked at one point but he didn’t stop. He had been tolerating so much, more and more so recently. He didn’t understand why Soonyoung always had to leave for work early and yet comes back late. He didn’t understand how Soonyoung still managed to keep up his silly smile despite the deteriorating time they spent together. So he let it all out, unscrewed all the caps that sealed his bottles of emotions so firmly until now.

Eventually, he ran out of things to yell and his voice died down. What came next what silence denser than the air around them. Jihoon found it difficult to breathe all of a sudden, all the oxygen used up for his vocal rampage. The younger boy suddenly felt the need to stabilise himself, to finalise his rampage, to summarise everything in a sentence. But the demon of emotions got the better of him, and what came out in a calm and collected tone was able to injure another person in ways he couldn't have imagined at that instance. 

 

_“Why don’t you just leave? It’s not going to make a difference anyways.”_

 

Soonyoung’s complexion was unreadable. If Jihoon was in his most expressive state now, Soonyoung was the exact opposite. His disordered fringe shielded his eyes away from the younger boy, his body stoic as ever. The older boy's breathing was stable, almost peaceful. The lack of any reaction from Soonyoung scared Jihoon more and more as the seconds passed. Nevertheless he waited for a response, three wooden panels away.

Then, he sensed the shift in his lover’s feet. He looked up, only to find the older boy already facing away from him, making his way across the living room. In a tiredly swift motion, Soonyoung picked up his backpack on the sofa, grabbed his jacket and headed to the door.

 

Jihoon didn’t know that the gentle shutting of the door was a sign that Soonyoung would never return.

 

\---

 

It was the blue toothbrush in the dustbin that the younger boy noticed at first. Still groggy his sleep, the sight of something blue against the used tissue papers in the bin had caught his attention. A sense of dread fell over him, the significance of Soonyoung’s toothbrush tossed into the waste paper basket woke him up entirely. Jihoon stood staring at the blue toothbrush, while his heart turned into lead and threatened to sink into his guts.

The music producer went to work, afraid that disrupting his daily routine would made him lose more of his grounding. When he came back that evening, he realised all the large sized sports shoes and sandals were gone. Panic swelled within the younger boy. Quickly taking off his own shoes, Jihoon ran into the bedroom and opened Soonyoung’s wardrobe.

Some of his clothes were still there. After taking a detailed scan, Jihoon realised that most of Soonyoung’s favourite outfit were missing. “Must’ve taken it while I was at work,” Jihoon thought. But his train of thought didn’t end there.

_Did this meant Soonyoung would come back and take these away too? Did this meant that I can wait for Soonyoung to come back and apologise to him, ask him to not leave? Did this meant everything can still be saved?_

 

Jihoon knew the answer before the question fully took its shape in his mind.

 

\---

 

Over the course of a week, the younger boy came home to an emptier house. Favourite mug and cutlery. Shampoos and deodorant. Shirts and pants. They all disappear day by day. One day, Jihoon came home to a house key laid neatly on the coffee table in the living room. Underneath the silver key was an orange post-it note with two simple lines written in neat handwriting.

 

_I’m sorry._

_Love, Soonyoung._

 

As Jihoon’s hot tears fell from his eyes and onto the orange note, he knew all too well that he could have stopped this from happening. Skip work for a day. Wait at home for Soonyoung to come pick up his belongings. Say sorry to him. Tell him he didn’t mean the things he said. Confess that he still loves him and cares for him. Ask him to stay. Beg. Kneel down if he had to.

But Jihoon is a coward. And so this was his punishment.

 

Standing in the middle of his own house, a huge sense of irony struck him as he realised he had lost his only home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soonyoung was always late and not around. There was a reason behind it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know it's been months and i was stuck at writing soonyoung's pov but suddenly i was struck with inspirations and i decided to write it in one-sitting and i did it! it's 4am so forgive me if i have overlooked some grammar or spelling errors :'D

The heavy slapping of sneakers on asphalt reverberated in the still night. Soonyoung stopped abruptly at the end of the street, trying to soothe his ragged breathing. He doubled over, palms pressing onto his bending knees, the plastic bag from the convenience store hung from his right wrist. He was lucky enough to catch a train as soon as he reached the station nearest to his studio. But it did not change the fact that he was running late, very late.

 

One of Soonyoung’s dance student from his class had trouble with one part of the choreography so he volunteered to stay back with him to personally teach him. He didn’t have to do it since he wasn’t getting paid, but the boy had a passion in dancing and he could tell he practiced diligently in order to catch up with others. The fact that the boy reminded Soonyoung of his past self made him want to help his student. By the time the both of them were done practicing, Soonyoung realised he was already late for his meeting with Jihoon.

 

Soonyoung had dashed out of the studio after closing it for the night in order to catch the last train which he fortunately managed to get on. The brief 16 minutes ride down four stations dragged on forever, and the lack of passengers devoid the dancer of any distractions. He was forced to glance at his watch every half a minute or so. The dancer tapped his foot to relief himself of his anxiety for running late, for (if he was not wrong) it had been the third time in this month, and he was only ten days into it.

 

As soon as the train lodged itself onto his destination, Soonyoung leaped out in a hurry and rushed to the 24-hour convenience store to grab a two bottles of beer, which tinkled loudly in the fragile plastic bag as he jogged down a few empty, deserted streets before stopping by a curb to catch his breath. The dancer didn’t want his lover to find out that he had rushed over to him, afraid that he couldn’t lie if he was asked.

 

Kwon Soonyoung didn’t want Lee Jihoon to know that he had been taking up more jobs at his dance studio to earn more so that he could get his boyfriend a studio of his own.

 

So when he walked over to his lover, who was standing solemnly under the broken streetlight, he masked his lethargy with his cheerfulness.

 

“Jihoonie! You’re here!”

 

\---

 

When Jihoon giggled into Soonyoung’s face, the latter couldn’t help but smile at his lover. In one swift motion, the dancer pinned his boyfriend onto the cold, dry grass. Jihoon, drunk from chugging down a bottle of beer in one go, had giggled loudly instead of feeling perplexed or annoyed like he usually would. The younger boy simply stared dreamily at his lover, the smile on his face slowly evolved into a grin with teeth in full-display. The sight of Jihoon with his messy blond hair sprawled on the grass, cheeks flushed and eyes twinkling like the stars in the night sky was almost ethereal Soonyoung had to take a moment to take in all the details of his boyfriend in front of him.

 

“Jihoonie-ah, you look so beautiful tonight.”

 

“Says the beautiful one.” Jihoon retorted smugly. Soonyoung had to laugh because this was such a rare sight. To be outwardly called beautiful by Lee Jihoon is probably the greatest compliment of all. His lover smiled a little at his reaction and smoothly slipped in another compliment.

 

“The way your eyes crinkle when you laugh is very lovely, Soonyoung.”

 

Soonyoung was on cloud nine.

 

Then a sudden wave of tiredness surged within the dancer, all the dance routine in the day starting to take a toll on him and Soonyoung sunk his head onto Jihoon’s shoulder to mask the wincing on his face. The dancer kissed the bare nape of his lover to further cover up his lethargy, which succeed when Jihoon giggled heartily and asked Soonyoung to stop because it was ticklish.

 

Soonyoung didn’t.

 

He continued trailing his kisses across his lover’s neck, lingering a little longer over his Adam’s apple. Jihoon’s hands were holding onto Soonyoung’s hip, and the latter had his hands tangled within the messy blond hair. Soonyoung wanted to shower Jihoon with his love so badly, and when is the best time if not for when Jihoon is a little drunk and wouldn’t mind all the physical affections from his boyfriend. It was sly, alright, but Soonyoung wasn’t going to let such opportunity pass. As much as sober and shy Jihoon is adorable, the dancer indulged in times where his lover became more candor under the influence of alcohol.

 

Soonyoung gently placed his weight onto Jihoon and felt the rise and fall of the elder’s chest as he breathed in the damp night air. It was the small things in life that the dancer truly treasure, and he wasn’t going to take anything for granted. He felt more than hear his boyfriend giggling once more, asking about what he was thinking, but Soonyoung didn’t answer him. Instead he propped himself up and kissed Jihoon in the lips.

 

It was a quick, chaste kiss, but it was enough to make fireworks burst within Soonyoung’s chest and made his heart soar. When the dancer lifted his head up to gaze into his lover’s half-lidded dark orbs, he was reminded of their first kiss, which took place on the rooftop of their high school. It was a windy night like this, and the feeling was just about the same. Even after three years, the magic hadn’t been lost. The air buzzed with electricity and the pit of Soonyoung’s stomach made a small flip as he dipped down and kissed Jihoon more passionately.

 

As Soonyoung nibbled playfully at Jihoon’s bottom lip after a long, heated kiss, earning a whiny giggle from his lover, he had thought that they could ride the tides of life forever.

 

\---

 

Clearly, he was wrong when Jihoon had snapped at him the next morning and told him to leave their shared apartment.

 

Soonyoung had woken up by a phone call from his friend to take over a Sunday morning contemporary dance class because he was down with a cold and the dancer didn’t hesitate to accept it if it meant extra income. He had hoped to leave the house quietly, but when he realised he was alone on their shared bed, he knew that Jihoon had another insomniac night and probably went to the living room to write out some tunes or lyrics to sort out his thoughts.

 

True enough, when the dancer had readied himself to leave the house, Jihoon was sitting on the sofa and holding onto new music sheets with a face contorted in annoyance more than concentration. Soonyoung had thought that it might be one of Jihoon’s bad morning and decided to leave it at that.

 

“Jihoon-ah, I’m heading to the dance studio today so I won’t be back till lunchtime. Gotta take over one class for my friend in the last minute. I promise I’ll spend the rest of the day with you so please wait for me yeah?”

 

Normally, his boyfriend would’ve muttered a ‘yes’ or gave him a curt nod, but Jihoon did neither. Instead, his lover stood up from the sofa and walked towards Soonyoung, eyes downcast and lips pressed into a tight line.

 

“I can’t take it anymore,” Jihoon muttered under his breath.

 

 

Everything that came after that barely registered in Soonyoung’s mind. All he remembered, if he braved himself to even reminisce about it, was the three wooden panel that separated them, and why he did not close the distance between them when he ought to.

 

He had never seen or even heard Jihoon raising his voice like that, not even towards someone else. His lover was never the type to spend his energy over screaming at someone else, he would rather channel his strength at working on his music. So when endless and endless strings of loud voices leaving Jihoon’s mouth reached his ears, Soonyoung could do nothing but take it all in.

 

 

Unknowingly, Soonyoung __had__ taken things for granted.

 

 

Everything was a blur until Jihoon’s screams had finally subsided.

 

Soonyoung would close the distance between them.

 

But he would wait for a moment.

 

Just a bit.

 

A little bit more.

 

The painful truth is, the younger boy was scared. At one point Jihoon had hurled himself at him and hit his chest, each punch against his chest filled with agony and overdue endurance. Soonyoung was afraid to feel the same kind of pain delivered directly to him if he dared to get near his lover.

 

He knew he had to, but before Soonyoung could lift his right foot off the floor Jihoon had closed all doors in front of him.

 

 

“Why don’t you just leave? It’s not going to make a difference anyways.”

 

 

Later when Soonyoung had repeated the same words to his friend in the bar as he recalled his then ex-boyfriend’s rampage, he realised it wasn’t the power in those words, but rather it was the bitterness coated in the sentence that bit into the dancer like a lethal venom had him shudder and cower in fear.

 

All of a sudden Soonyoung found himself undeserving of Jihoon. Who in the world let their lover suffer like this without even realising it? __I am such a jerk. A fucking huge jerk.__ All he thought was himself. How he needed to work his ass off to surprise Jihoon by buying him a proper studio instead of renting it from other people. He had never once thought about how Jihoon would feel about his increasing working hours. It had reached a point where it was starting to invade their personal time. But Soonyoung hadn’t even realised it. He was too focused on the future that he forgot to live in the moment. He forgot about his lover standing right in front of him, needing him.

 

Soonyoung had never despised himself so much until then.

 

All energy was drained out of him. Soonyoung forfeited. In a tiredly swift motion, he picked up his backpack on the sofa, grabbed his jacket and headed to the door.

 

When the door clicked shut behind him, he figured it was the end.

 

\---

 

Soonyoung had went to the dance studio and took over the class for his friend as promised, all the while keeping his cool and acting like nothing had gone wrong. He could feel the ground softening underneath his feet, and his knees turned into jelly. The dancer warded off the devastation tugging at him like an anchor that threatened to sink him into a bottomless abyss and chose to focus on the class instead.

 

When afternoon came he didn’t know where to go, so he phoned that same friend who was down with a cold and asked if he could crash a few nights while he tried to find for a new place to stay.

 

“You got kicked out of your own house by your boyfriend?” His friend had bellowed over the phone, his voice much more alert and awake than in the morning. “Shit, bro, come stay over as long as you want man. I feel sorry for you.”

 

Soonyoung uttered a thanks and headed towards his friend’s apartment. Later that night they went to a bar few blocks away and the dancer told his friend about the argument he had with his boyfriend. He had sounded defeated, his voice quivered as the reality hit him that Jihoon had broken up with him. Under the spell of three whiskey sour, Soonyoung wept pathetically onto his friend’s shoulder and woke up the next day feeling much more relieved, although he had a throbbing headache from the hungover.

 

 

For the entire week Soonyoung had secretly went back to his old apartment and took his belongings while he was sure that Jihoon was at work. He took his time to pack them up, and tears pricked his eyes whenever he turned back and saw an emptier house.

 

Then he hurriedly left the place before his emotions overwhelmed him.

 

When Soonyoung was sure he had taken everything that belonged to him in the apartment, he tentatively left a short note along with the house key on the coffee table in the living room. A place he was sure Jihoon would never miss. It went like this:

 

 

__I’m sorry._ _

__

__Love, Soonyoung._ _

 

 

Admittedly, the dancer had hoped to meet his ex-boyfriend for one last time, for a proper farewell. But he didn’t have the courage to face him at all. Soonyoung was ashamed of the condition he had left Jihoon and didn’t know where he would muster the bravery to look at Jihoon properly again.

 

All he could manage was an apology through an orange post-it.

 

 

When Soonyoung heard the all familiar click of the door shut behind him, he squatted down and wept a little. The house key was inside the apartment and there was no way he could’ve entered the house ever again.

 

 

That was the real goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm gonna write the continuation cause i can't stand seeing soonhoon breaking up either :(

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry i love angst. i'm thinking of making a soonyoung pov to this story, or maybe a continuation of this, or both, i'm not quite sure. anyways if you like it please leave a kudo and/or review, i will really appreciate it!


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